Empathy Opens the Door . . . to problem solving and more

MarcilieUncategorized3 Comments

While walking in Lake Tahoe with a friend, my 8 YO daughter ran up to me and said, “I’m dying for some jelly beans!” “Jelly beans are terrible for your body and your teeth,” I replied.   My daughter looked up at me, frowned and then ran away. I had literally repelled her with my unfeeling retort. I closed the … Read More

Mom Drops the F-Bomb on Unsuspecting Son

MarciliePositive Parenting13 Comments

Wow! Sometimes I shock even myself with my behavior. A few days before Christmas was one of those times. If mistakes are opportunities to learn (and I truly believe they are), then this was a BIG opportunity. The holidays can often bring up extra emotion and stress, but this year, I thought I had a handle on it. I consciously … Read More

Four ways to say “no” without actually saying, “NO!”

MarcilieUncategorized0 Comments

Four ways to say NO without saying NO! Re-directing away from the negative and toward the positive has always been a big part of Positive Discipline. An interesting article from Psychology Today provides yet more evidence as to why: Every time the brain hears or sees a negative word or image, dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters are released. “If you vocalize your … Read More

I thought my child was being a brat. So I treated her that way. Oops.

Marcilieconsequences, discipline, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting2 Comments

I thought my child was being a brat. So I treated her that way. It seemed logical at the time, but my intervention actually invited more bratty behavior. Here’s why . . . “Your explanation of your child’s behavior guides your intervention.”  — Ross Greene I will forever be transformed by having read, “The Explosive Child” by Ross Greene. Poorly … Read More

Getting on the same parenting page with your partner

JoeTLClong term parenting, Parenting and Management, Parenting w/Positive Discipline0 Comments

Do you and your partner have different parenting styles?  If so, you’re in good company. It comes up all the time and I mean all the time: “How do my partner and I get onto the same parenting page?” One parent is too kind and the other too firm, and they push each other, ever farther to extremes, by compensating … Read More

Two things that help kids WANT to cooperate

Marciliediscipline, long term parenting0 Comments

Your child’s behavior is not the problem. Really. If your child’s behavior is not the problem, then what is? Some parents reply, “I’m the problem!”  It’s true that you may be part of the problem but here’s the real answer . . . The problem is the problem. There’s always something deeper that causes the behavior to show up. Always. … Read More

My struggle to get my child to scoop the freaking litter box – part 2 in a 2-part series on agreements and follow-through

MarcilieChores, consequences, long term parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline0 Comments

But we had an agreement! Part II: What to do when kids don’t follow through with agreements (over and over again.) I regularly turned my head when I passed it to avoid the irritation bubbling in my chest. It’s not that it was smelly or even that gross (although sometimes it was both.) It was simply a daily reminder of … Read More

Three Parenting Beliefs that Kill Your Child’s Creativity, Joy, and Potential (and How to Turn Them Around)

Marcilieconsequences, long term parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline0 Comments

We all carry beliefs that shape our parenting behavior. Many of these beliefs were formed in early childhood and are deeply lodged into our brains. Some of these beliefs are helpful in our quest to raise kind, compassionate, resilient and responsible children. Some of these beliefs are not. These are killer beliefs because they kill creativity, potential, joy, and relationship. … Read More

Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior

MarcilieUncategorized0 Comments

This story about giving up some parenting responsibility comes from Louann, who recently took my 8-week Parenting with Positive Discipline virtual class . . . My then 3-year old son and I were at our favorite family camp one summer. My son loved to play in the woods – grabbing handfuls of red earth, and throwing them up in the … Read More

Set limits for your children (that stick!) in 3 simple steps

MarcilieUncategorized0 Comments

I keep a notebook about each of my children in which I record major events, questions, and notes from parent-teacher conferences and other meetings. I happened to be thumbing through my daughter’s notebook while at a doctor visit last month, and a folded piece of paper fell out. On it, I’d  described a challenging parenting situation that I wanted help … Read More

3 Cures for Overwhelm in December and Beyond

MarcilieUncategorized0 Comments

It’s that time of year! So let me get right to the point to minimize the odds of making it worse . . . 3 cures for overwhelm, and not just for now, but throughout the year. Challenge: pick one idea from this list to try out for the rest of the month. Unless that feels overwhelming. In which case, just … Read More