Throw out your books and trust parenting intuition instead?

Marciliediscipline, Leadership, long term parenting, Parenting Intuition, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting0 Comments

eye to eye

Many years ago, my mother-in-law told me that I was reading too many books about parenting. She said that I should trust my parenting intuition, because the right answers would just come to me. Her vote of confidence felt lovely…and yet, later that night, what “came to me” was a yelling match when my daughter refused to pick up her … Read More

Scripts to hold limits firmly but not sternly (with kindness and firmness at the same time)

MarcilieAuthoritative Parenting Style, discipline, Empathy, Kind and Firm Parenting, Parenting Styles, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, Setting Limits0 Comments

The idea of parenting with kindness and firmness at the same time sounded so appealing when I first heard it. But I still struggled:  what does kind and firm parenting look like, in the moment, when my child is driving me crazy and we have to get out the door? How do I hold limits firmly, but not sternly? It’s … Read More

17 Things You Can Do When Siblings Fight

MarcilieSibling Fighting0 Comments

positive parenting sibling fighting

With summer approaching, the regular morning and evening routines shift or get lost entirely, and siblings have more time together both at home and on vacation. That together time can be joyful and lovely. It can also mean more opportunities for sibling conflict. Parents often ask me, “What can I do when one child is wailing on the other?” I’ve … Read More

One way to get kids to take responsibility for their messes

MarcilieChores, discipline, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, Problem Solving, Responsibility4 Comments

Wouldn’t it be nice if children would take responsibility for cleaning up after themselves? It seems like such a basic thing; however, if you walk around my house on any given day, you might find: Dried up food bowls in the family room Cheap knick knacks from a birthday party goody bag Little bits of cut up paper, scissors and … Read More

Mom Drops the F-Bomb on Unsuspecting Son

MarciliePositive Parenting13 Comments

Wow! Sometimes I shock even myself with my behavior. A few days before Christmas was one of those times. If mistakes are opportunities to learn (and I truly believe they are), then this was a BIG opportunity. The holidays can often bring up extra emotion and stress, but this year, I thought I had a handle on it. I consciously … Read More

Four ways to say “no” without actually saying, “NO!”

MarcilieUncategorized0 Comments

Four ways to say NO without saying NO! Re-directing away from the negative and toward the positive has always been a big part of Positive Discipline. An interesting article from Psychology Today provides yet more evidence as to why: Every time the brain hears or sees a negative word or image, dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters are released. “If you vocalize your … Read More

I thought my child was being a brat. So I treated her that way. Oops.

Marcilieconsequences, discipline, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting2 Comments

I thought my child was being a brat. So I treated her that way. It seemed logical at the time, but my intervention actually invited more bratty behavior. Here’s why . . . “Your explanation of your child’s behavior guides your intervention.”  — Ross Greene I will forever be transformed by having read, “The Explosive Child” by Ross Greene. Poorly … Read More

Getting on the same parenting page with your partner

JoeTLClong term parenting, Parenting and Management, Parenting w/Positive Discipline0 Comments

Do you and your partner have different parenting styles?  If so, you’re in good company. It comes up all the time and I mean all the time: “How do my partner and I get onto the same parenting page?” One parent is too kind and the other too firm, and they push each other, ever farther to extremes, by compensating … Read More

Two things that help kids WANT to cooperate

Marciliediscipline, long term parenting0 Comments

Your child’s behavior is not the problem. Really. If your child’s behavior is not the problem, then what is? Some parents reply, “I’m the problem!”  It’s true that you may be part of the problem but here’s the real answer . . . The problem is the problem. There’s always something deeper that causes the behavior to show up. Always. … Read More

My struggle to get my child to scoop the freaking litter box – part 2 in a 2-part series on agreements and follow-through

MarcilieChores, consequences, long term parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline0 Comments

But we had an agreement! Part II: What to do when kids don’t follow through with agreements (over and over again.) I regularly turned my head when I passed it to avoid the irritation bubbling in my chest. It’s not that it was smelly or even that gross (although sometimes it was both.) It was simply a daily reminder of … Read More