Don’t take sides when siblings fight!

Marciliediscipline, Kind and Firm Parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Sibling Fighting, Sibling Rivalry4 Comments

I’ve heard it said that when siblings fight, the parent or caregiver should first attend to the victim by giving comfort and attention. This way, bullies aren’t rewarded with attention, and theoretically, they learn to never to repeat the behavior because they actually see the pain they’ve caused. This seems logical enough…but in the long term, deciding who’s right and … Read More

How parenting with a long-term view can transform behavior

Marcilieconsequences, discipline, Kind and Firm Parenting, Leadership, Letting Go, long term parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, ResponsibilityLeave a Comment

While parenting with a long-term view (“long-term parenting”) can completely transform a situation and a relationship, I’ve struggled for years (literally) with how to write about it. I think it might sound a bit boring, and imply that one might not get immediate answers with its practice. Am I right? I imagine readers asking, How will long-term parenting help me … Read More

Back To School Conversation Guide

MarcilieBack to School, Responsibility2 Comments

Every Fall, about a week or two before my kids start school again, we have a “back to school conversation.”  When my children were younger (up to around 4th or 5th grade), parents set bedtimes and wake times and then together with our kids, we brainstormed morning and bedtime routines and created routine charts to stay on track. Learn more … Read More

How much screen time is too much?

MarcilieKind and Firm Parenting, Problem Solving, Responsibility, Screen time, Screen time, Setting LimitsLeave a Comment

Everyone seems to know intuitively that too much screen time is not healthy, but no one seems to be able to say how much is too much. Experts (including Dr. Rachel Kowert, PhD and author of A Parent’s Guide to Video Games) note that even the “no more than 2 hours/day” recommendation for young children from the American Academy of … Read More

My child stole his teacher’s brownie. How and what came next…

Marcilieconsequences, discipline, Kind and Firm Parenting, long term parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, Problem Solving, Responsibility4 Comments

Chapter 1: Mom Gets Dreaded Phone Call From School I was at work in the middle of the day when my phone began to ring. I looked down and noted the caller’s ID: it was my child’s school. Naturally, my heart began to race, butterflies fluttered in my gut, and my eyes got a bit wider. Do schools know that … Read More

Solve your child’s behavior problem before it happens

MarcilieUncategorizedLeave a Comment

As most of you know, I teach Parenting with Positive Discipline classes in a live and virtual classroom setting. In almost all cases, parents in my classes are quite focused on what to do “in the moment” of non-compliance, or back-talk, or any other kind of “misbehavior.” They’re asking questions like these: “What do I do when my child is … Read More

Don’t Back-Talk Back: How Parents Unwittingly Invite Power Struggles and Defiance, and What to Do Instead

Marciliediscipline, Holidays, Setting Limits2 Comments

If your child is more than six months old, it’s a sure thing that you’ve experienced defiance or a power struggle. Back-talk and attitude generally come later; but once again, these are behaviors all parents have seen at one time or another, if not many times a day. Several years ago, at the airport, I overheard a mother and her … Read More

Trusting your parenting intuition could be a really good thing — especially if you help it along

Marciliediscipline, Leadership, long term parenting, Parenting Intuition, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive ParentingLeave a Comment

Many years ago, my mother-in-law told me that I was reading too many books about parenting. She said that I should trust my parenting intuition, because the right answers would just come to me. Her vote of confidence felt lovely…and yet, later that night, what “came to me” was a yelling match when my daughter refused to pick up her … Read More

Scripts to hold limits firmly but not sternly (with kindness and firmness at the same time)

MarcilieAuthoritative Parenting Style, discipline, Empathy, Kind and Firm Parenting, Parenting Styles, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, Setting LimitsLeave a Comment

  The idea of parenting with kindness and firmness at the same time sounded so appealing when I first heard it. But I still struggled:  what does kind and firm parenting look like, in the moment, when my child is driving me crazy and we have to get out the door? How do I hold limits firmly, but not sternly? … Read More