I’m pleased to share this message from guest-blogger Adam Fishman, a participant in my parenting classes, and VP of Growth Marketing @Patreon. A brief moment of calm in between the chaos. “Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse?” — Jane Nelsen, author of … Read More
Sibling fight breaks out in the Happiest Place on Earth
It’s supposed to be the “Happiest Place on Earth” but after long days, long lines, and large scoops of ice cream, it can get unhappy pretty fast. I’m talking about Disneyland, where all 5 members of my family shared one hotel room for four nights over Spring Break a few weeks ago. Three of us were sick with cough/colds. On night 3, … Read More
One very easy way to get more cooperation: get “Eye to Eye”
Several of my parenting clients have had so much success with this very simple tip, that I’ve decided to share it with you, too. It’s so simple and intuitive; yet parents often forget to use it. It’s called, “Eye to Eye” from Positive Discipline and it works like this: Rather than bark commands from across the house like this: “Hurry … Read More
How do I get my kids to listen?
Have you ever complained to yourself (or others) that… “He never listens to me!” “I have to tell him 10 times!” “She’ll only pay attention if I yell!” Chances are that nearly all of us have felt irritated by our child’s inability to listen and follow through with simple requests at one time or another (if not daily). Years ago, my child … Read More
Mind the Gap: Why it’s so hard to keep resolutions and how to up your odds
“I know I shouldn’t yell so much, but I just can’t seem to stop!” “I know I shouldn’t eat this entire pint of ice cream, but here I go anyway . . .” “I know I should stop reading Facebook, but the other things I have to do are far less interesting!” Does any of this sound familiar? Even when … Read More
When Kids Lie
The topic of lying came up in my parenting class last week. We were role-playing parents’ typical responses to a lying kid: “Honey, did you just lie about that? Are you sure?” (When parent already knows the child is lying) “Are you kidding me? You just lied straight to my face. How COULD you?” “That’s it, no more (fill in … Read More
6 Things Great Parents Do . . . at least sometimes
Let me start out by saying that if you do all of these things regularly, I bow down to you. In my view, these are 6 things that great parents do at least sometimes. Because doing them all, all the time, is a pretty tall order. It is for me, anyway. So here they are, 6 things great parents do … Read More
Flip-Flop Parenting And What To Do Instead
Do you know what I mean when I say, “flip-flop parenting?” You know, when we start out as parents, we want to be nice. We want to keep peace in the family and have happy experiences so we do a lot for our kids, we give them some latitude, and put our own needs last until . . . we … Read More
It’s OK to Say No
I’ve written about this word before. It was in the context of parenting, however, and this time I’d like to share the empowering side of “no” in the context of life in general. It’s funny that I feel inspired to write about “no” when I’ve just begun an improvisational comedy class where the motto is “Yes, and . . . … Read More
A Tale of Two Siblings . . . and 6 tips for peaceful, cooperative sibling relationships
This tale is true. And recent. Although names have been changed to protect the (somewhat) innocent. We were boarding a plane, on our way back from Spring break. My two daughters were in front of me, moving down the aisle toward our row, and arguing about who would get the window seat. I was trying to stay out of it … Read More
5 Ways to Move From Disciplinarian to Coach
One of my greatest fears upon marrying a “nice guy” was that I would become the “disciplinarian” and he’d become, or rather remain, the “nice guy.” Dang. It happened! Ironically, the thing that pushed me even farther in to the “disciplinarian” role was . . . can you guess it? Yup, my old friend, Fear. . . Fear that my kids … Read More
Great parenting doesn’t just happen “in the moment”
This chart got a lot of great feedback on my Facebook page so I’m sharing it with my community. Parents in my classes are generally very focused on what to do “in the moment” of misbehavior. But I’ve found that there is way more impact when we focus before the moment, to prevent the “moments” from ever happening. I call this “Preventive … Read More