How Positive Discipline (and a chore chart) followed my son to college

MarcilieChores, discipline, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, Problem SolvingLeave a Comment

I visited my son at college last weekend. A sophomore in off-campus housing, he’d been complaining about the standards of cleanliness among his roommates (in his view, the standards are quite low.) For the first time in my son’s life, there is no one other than the 4 guys who live there to clean up the messes, dishes, or bathrooms. … Read More

Don’t take sides when siblings fight!

Marciliediscipline, Kind and Firm Parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Sibling Fighting, Sibling Rivalry4 Comments

I’ve heard it said that when siblings fight, the parent or caregiver should first attend to the victim by giving comfort and attention. This way, bullies aren’t rewarded with attention, and theoretically, they learn to never to repeat the behavior because they actually see the pain they’ve caused. This seems logical enough…but in the long term, deciding who’s right and … Read More

How parenting with a long-term view can transform behavior

Marcilieconsequences, discipline, Kind and Firm Parenting, Leadership, Letting Go, long term parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, ResponsibilityLeave a Comment

While parenting with a long-term view (“long-term parenting”) can completely transform a situation and a relationship, I’ve struggled for years (literally) with how to write about it. I think it might sound a bit boring, and imply that one might not get immediate answers with its practice. Am I right? I imagine readers asking, How will long-term parenting help me … Read More

My child stole his teacher’s brownie. How and what came next…

Marcilieconsequences, discipline, Kind and Firm Parenting, long term parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, Problem Solving, Responsibility4 Comments

Chapter 1: Mom Gets Dreaded Phone Call From School I was at work in the middle of the day when my phone began to ring. I looked down and noted the caller’s ID: it was my child’s school. Naturally, my heart began to race, butterflies fluttered in my gut, and my eyes got a bit wider. Do schools know that … Read More

Don’t Back-Talk Back: How Parents Unwittingly Invite Power Struggles and Defiance, and What to Do Instead

Marciliediscipline, Holidays, Setting Limits2 Comments

If your child is more than six months old, it’s a sure thing that you’ve experienced defiance or a power struggle. Back-talk and attitude generally come later; but once again, these are behaviors all parents have seen at one time or another, if not many times a day. Several years ago, at the airport, I overheard a mother and her … Read More

Trusting your parenting intuition could be a really good thing — especially if you help it along

Marciliediscipline, Leadership, long term parenting, Parenting Intuition, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive ParentingLeave a Comment

Many years ago, my mother-in-law told me that I was reading too many books about parenting. She said that I should trust my parenting intuition, because the right answers would just come to me. Her vote of confidence felt lovely…and yet, later that night, what “came to me” was a yelling match when my daughter refused to pick up her … Read More

Scripts to hold limits firmly but not sternly (with kindness and firmness at the same time)

MarcilieAuthoritative Parenting Style, discipline, Empathy, Kind and Firm Parenting, Parenting Styles, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, Setting LimitsLeave a Comment

  The idea of parenting with kindness and firmness at the same time sounded so appealing when I first heard it. But I still struggled:  what does kind and firm parenting look like, in the moment, when my child is driving me crazy and we have to get out the door? How do I hold limits firmly, but not sternly? … Read More

One way to get kids to take responsibility for their messes

MarcilieChores, discipline, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting, Problem Solving, Responsibility6 Comments

Wouldn’t it be nice if children would take responsibility for cleaning up after themselves? It seems like such a basic thing; however, if you walk around my house on any given day, you might find: Dried up food bowls in the family room Cheap knick knacks from a birthday party goody bag Little bits of cut up paper, scissors and … Read More

I thought my child was being a brat. So I treated her that way. Oops.

Marcilieconsequences, discipline, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, Positive Parenting2 Comments

I thought my child was being a brat. So I treated her that way. It seemed logical at the time, but my intervention actually invited more bratty behavior. Here’s why . . . “Your explanation of your child’s behavior guides your intervention.”  — Ross Greene I will forever be transformed by having read, “The Explosive Child” by Ross Greene. Poorly … Read More

Sugar Buzz or Sugar Bust — What To Do With Too Much Halloween Candy?

Marciliediscipline, long term parenting, Parenting w/Positive Discipline, UncategorizedLeave a Comment

Not everyone celebrates Halloween, but if you do, and you’re looking for respectful ways to moderate your child’s sugar consumption this year, keep reading. We face the same problem with Halloween candy every year.  I don’t know why it continues to surprise me . . . Last year I was mortified by the two pillowcases full of candy that my tween brought … Read More