Five ways to encourage follow-through without nagging
3 Easy Ways to Encourage (i.e., foster COURAGE to keep trying, do something new, take on a challenge)
The best gift you can give your children this holiday season is . . . Encouragement. You can’t wrap it up, and they won’t be asking for it. But they need it more than anything, and it doesn’t cost a dime. “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water.” – Rudolf Dreikurs Think of someone in your life who was … Read More
How much screen time is too much?
Everyone seems to know intuitively that too much screen time is not healthy, but no one seems to be able to say how much is too much. Experts (including Dr. Rachel Kowert, PhD and author of A Parent’s Guide to Video Games) note that even the “no more than 2 hours/day” recommendation for young children from the American Academy of … Read More
Solve your child’s behavior problem before it happens
As most of you know, I teach Parenting with Positive Discipline classes in a live and virtual classroom setting. In almost all cases, parents in my classes are quite focused on what to do “in the moment” of non-compliance, or back-talk, or any other kind of “misbehavior.” They’re asking questions like these: “What do I do when my child is … Read More
Empathy Opens the Door . . . to problem solving and more
While walking in Lake Tahoe with a friend, my 8 YO daughter ran up to me and said, “I’m dying for some jelly beans!” “Jelly beans are terrible for your body and your teeth,” I replied. My daughter looked up at me, frowned and then ran away. I had literally repelled her with my unfeeling retort. I closed the … Read More
Four ways to say “no” without actually saying, “NO!”
Four ways to say NO without saying NO! Re-directing away from the negative and toward the positive has always been a big part of Positive Discipline. An interesting article from Psychology Today provides yet more evidence as to why: Every time the brain hears or sees a negative word or image, dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters are released. “If you vocalize your … Read More
Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior
This story about giving up some parenting responsibility comes from Louann, who recently took my 8-week Parenting with Positive Discipline virtual class . . . My then 3-year old son and I were at our favorite family camp one summer. My son loved to play in the woods – grabbing handfuls of red earth, and throwing them up in the … Read More
Set limits for your children (that stick!) in 3 simple steps
I keep a notebook about each of my children in which I record major events, questions, and notes from parent-teacher conferences and other meetings. I happened to be thumbing through my daughter’s notebook while at a doctor visit last month, and a folded piece of paper fell out. On it, I’d described a challenging parenting situation that I wanted help … Read More
3 Cures for Overwhelm in December and Beyond
It’s that time of year! So let me get right to the point to minimize the odds of making it worse . . . 3 cures for overwhelm, and not just for now, but throughout the year. Challenge: pick one idea from this list to try out for the rest of the month. Unless that feels overwhelming. In which case, just … Read More
Sugar Buzz or Sugar Bust — What To Do With Too Much Halloween Candy?
Not everyone celebrates Halloween, but if you do, and you’re looking for respectful ways to moderate your child’s sugar consumption this year, keep reading. We face the same problem with Halloween candy every year. I don’t know why it continues to surprise me . . . Last year I was mortified by the two pillowcases full of candy that my tween brought … Read More
Bye-Bye to Morning, Bedtime, and Homework Battles with this One Simple Tool
From toddlers to teens, the most effective tool to help start the school year right is . . . Routines. There you go, I gave you the answer right away, and I hope you will continue reading to learn just how powerful they can be and why . . . Over the summer, my 9YO daughter began having trouble falling asleep. … Read More
3 Easy Ways to “Connect Before Correct” in parenting
Connection Before Correction is one of my all-time favorite Parenting with Positive Discipline mantras. I believe these are words to live by both in the moment of dissatisfying behavior, and in the long run as a foundation for any relationship. Several years ago I began to feel like a nag to my then 11 year-old son so I tracked the … Read More