What about “no breakfast?” Is that a “conse-punishment” or a “solution?”
Is it reasonable? As you can probably tell, what one person thinks is reasonable, another may not. So there is room for your own values and interpretation in all the criteria. For me, it’s reasonable to clear the table after breakfast is over. If someone comes late, they miss a home-made breakfast. However, I don’t think it’s reasonable to send my child to school without any food at all. So if they’re late, they may need to grab a banana or a baggie of cereal to go, but not be left to starve. No breakfast at all is not reasonable to me, so it FAILS this criterion.
Is it related to the situation? Missing breakfast because you dawdled too long is definitely related. PASS.
Is it respectful? It depends. If my child does not get ready in time for breakfast and I berate her for being late, “That’s it! Too bad, NO breakfast!! Maybe you’ll learn to get down here sooner!”, it’s not respectful: FAIL. If however, we’ve agreed in advance that breakfast will be cleared after a certain time in the morning and will not be available to those who come late, then that feels respectful (as long as the child can grab something quick to eat on their own) and it’s a PASS for me.
Is it helpful? Does missing breakfast help Serena learn how to be successful long term? While it doesn’t teach her skills directly, simply running out of time for breakfast feels more like a natural consequence than a punishment to me: Serena is learning that when she’s late, she doesn’t have time to eat a nice breakfast. But since she’s likely to crash and burn at school without fuel, I don’t think this solution is helpful to everyone involved, namely her teacher and classmates. So for me, no breakfast FAILS on this criterion, too. But it’s a close call.
In summary, “no breakfast” does not meet all four criteria, and therefore it is not a good solution. It’s borderline, however, and would become a good solution if it were changed to “no home-made breakfast,” and given with advance notice, in my opinion.
