Chapter 1: Mom Gets Dreaded Phone Call From School I was at work in the middle of the day when my phone began to ring. I looked down and noted the caller’s ID: it was my child’s school. Naturally, my heart began to race, butterflies fluttered in my gut, and my eyes got a bit wider. Do schools know that … Read More
Staying cool, calm, and curious in the face of really irritating behavior . . .
It was Monday night, I was sick, and my husband had been out of town for the long weekend. He arrived home in the evening, intending to stay just long enough to print out tickets for a Warriors game (one his few indulgences, which I am happy he takes) and then go. Our 7 year-old, M, was not happy … Read More
I thought my child was being a brat. So I treated her that way. Oops.
I thought my child was being a brat. So I treated her that way. It seemed logical at the time, but my intervention actually invited more bratty behavior. Here’s why . . . “Your explanation of your child’s behavior guides your intervention.” — Ross Greene I will forever be transformed by having read, “The Explosive Child” by Ross Greene. Poorly … Read More
Getting on the same parenting page with your partner
Do you and your partner have different parenting styles? If so, you’re in good company. It comes up all the time and I mean all the time: “How do my partner and I get onto the same parenting page?” One parent is too kind and the other too firm, and they push each other, ever farther to extremes, by compensating … Read More
Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior
This story about giving up some parenting responsibility comes from Louann, who recently took my 8-week Parenting with Positive Discipline virtual class . . . My then 3-year old son and I were at our favorite family camp one summer. My son loved to play in the woods – grabbing handfuls of red earth, and throwing them up in the … Read More
3 Easy Ways to “Connect Before Correct” in parenting
Connection Before Correction is one of my all-time favorite Parenting with Positive Discipline mantras. I believe these are words to live by both in the moment of dissatisfying behavior, and in the long run as a foundation for any relationship. Several years ago I began to feel like a nag to my then 11 year-old son so I tracked the … Read More
A Parenting Class Made Me A Better Manager (and Parent)
I’m pleased to share this message from guest-blogger Adam Fishman, a participant in my parenting classes, and VP of Growth Marketing @Patreon. A brief moment of calm in between the chaos. “Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse?” — Jane Nelsen, author of … Read More
When Kids Lie
The topic of lying came up in my parenting class last week. We were role-playing parents’ typical responses to a lying kid: “Honey, did you just lie about that? Are you sure?” (When parent already knows the child is lying) “Are you kidding me? You just lied straight to my face. How COULD you?” “That’s it, no more (fill in … Read More
6 Things Great Parents Do . . . at least sometimes
Let me start out by saying that if you do all of these things regularly, I bow down to you. In my view, these are 6 things that great parents do at least sometimes. Because doing them all, all the time, is a pretty tall order. It is for me, anyway. So here they are, 6 things great parents do … Read More
A Tale of Two Siblings . . . and 6 tips for peaceful, cooperative sibling relationships
This tale is true. And recent. Although names have been changed to protect the (somewhat) innocent. We were boarding a plane, on our way back from Spring break. My two daughters were in front of me, moving down the aisle toward our row, and arguing about who would get the window seat. I was trying to stay out of it … Read More
Struggling to come up with “the right” consequences? Try this!
Click here for an audio version of this blog: Over the past several months, I have heard some questionable tips from parenting experts on the topic of “consequences.” What’s surprising to me is that these are parenting experts I respect and agree with most of the time. But not this time. Here’s an example of one tip that raised my eyebrows: “The … Read More
Parenting can be oh, so uncomfortable
Click below for the audio version of this message. No one ever told me how hard parenting would be. Everyone seemed to play up the joy and love (which for sure is true) but they failed to warn me about the shock, fear, disappointment and downright despair I’d soon feel. They also failed to warn me about how painful it … Read More
- Page 1 of 2