The story featured below is from Ranjana, mother of two children. She had recently attended a Positive Discipline class where the topic was setting limits. In class, we spent a lot of time talking about how hard it is to allow and accept our children’s big emotions, especially when they are screaming, tantruming, or crying incessantly. It’s uncomfortable (for everyone) … Read More
Why it’s Important to Create a Healthy Bond with Children as Early as Possible
From taking your child to their first day of school, to someday walking them down the aisle, some of life’s biggest milestones are between you and your child. But way before you reach any significant milestones, it’s important to strengthen your bond with your child as early as possible. As a parent, you are your child’s first connection to other … Read More
Top 6 Positive Discipline Tools for Preschoolers and Toddlers
I’ve been through it three times and the thought of doing it again feels absolutely exhausting: parenting toddlers and preschoolers. It’s true that the teen years present some emotionally exhausting issues (and I mean seriously exhausting), but those early years wore me out in all dimensions: physical, emotional, and cognitive. Why were my car keys in the refrigerator? Because I … Read More
Solve your child’s behavior problem before it happens
As most of you know, I teach Parenting with Positive Discipline classes in a live and virtual classroom setting. In almost all cases, parents in my classes are quite focused on what to do “in the moment” of non-compliance, or back-talk, or any other kind of “misbehavior.” They’re asking questions like these: “What do I do when my child is … Read More
Staying cool, calm, and curious in the face of really irritating behavior . . .
It was Monday night, I was sick, and my husband had been out of town for the long weekend. He arrived home in the evening, intending to stay just long enough to print out tickets for a Warriors game (one his few indulgences, which I am happy he takes) and then go. Our 7 year-old, M, was not happy … Read More
7 Tips for Peaceful Holiday Parenting
As the holidays approach, I thought it would be a good time to share some quick tips that make it easier to parent with peace and actually enjoy holiday family time. I’m noticing that I feel a much greater sense of calm heading into the season and I think it’s because I’ve finally taken many of these tips to heart. … Read More
Trusting your parenting intuition could be a really good thing — especially if you help it along
Many years ago, my mother-in-law told me that I was reading too many books about parenting. She said that I should trust my parenting intuition, because the right answers would just come to me. Her vote of confidence felt lovely…and yet, later that night, what “came to me” was a yelling match when my daughter refused to pick up her … Read More
One way to get kids to take responsibility for their messes
Wouldn’t it be nice if children would take responsibility for cleaning up after themselves? It seems like such a basic thing; however, if you walk around my house on any given day, you might find: Dried up food bowls in the family room Cheap knick knacks from a birthday party goody bag Little bits of cut up paper, scissors and … Read More
Two things that help kids WANT to cooperate
Your child’s behavior is not the problem. Really. If your child’s behavior is not the problem, then what is? Some parents reply, “I’m the problem!” It’s true that you may be part of the problem but here’s the real answer . . . The problem is the problem. There’s always something deeper that causes the behavior to show up. Always. … Read More
But we had an agreement! What to do when children don’t follow through
I’m inspired to write about agreements today because so many of my clients are surprised and even hurt when their children don’t keep them. Here’s a common scenario: You respectfully ask your child for their ideas to make mornings go more smoothly. Your child suggests you get them a new alarm clock so they can get up on their own. … Read More
Three Parenting Beliefs that Kill Your Child’s Creativity, Joy, and Potential (and How to Turn Them Around)
We all carry beliefs that shape our parenting behavior. Many of these beliefs were formed in early childhood and are deeply lodged into our brains. Some of these beliefs are helpful in our quest to raise kind, compassionate, resilient and responsible children. Some of these beliefs are not. These are killer beliefs because they kill creativity, potential, joy, and relationship. … Read More
Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior
This story about giving up some parenting responsibility comes from Louann, who recently took my 8-week Parenting with Positive Discipline virtual class . . . My then 3-year old son and I were at our favorite family camp one summer. My son loved to play in the woods – grabbing handfuls of red earth, and throwing them up in the … Read More