Connection Before Correction is one of my all-time favorite Parenting with Positive Discipline mantras. I believe these are words to live by both in the moment of dissatisfying behavior, and in the long run as a foundation for any relationship. Several years ago I began to feel like a nag to my then 11 year-old son so I tracked the … Read More
A Parenting Class Made Me A Better Manager (and Parent)
I’m pleased to share this message from guest-blogger Adam Fishman, a participant in my parenting classes, and VP of Growth Marketing @Patreon. A brief moment of calm in between the chaos. “Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse?” — Jane Nelsen, author of … Read More
When Kids Lie
The topic of lying came up in my parenting class last week. We were role-playing parents’ typical responses to a lying kid: “Honey, did you just lie about that? Are you sure?” (When parent already knows the child is lying) “Are you kidding me? You just lied straight to my face. How COULD you?” “That’s it, no more (fill in … Read More
6 Things Great Parents Do . . . at least sometimes
Let me start out by saying that if you do all of these things regularly, I bow down to you. In my view, these are 6 things that great parents do at least sometimes. Because doing them all, all the time, is a pretty tall order. It is for me, anyway. So here they are, 6 things great parents do … Read More
A Tale of Two Siblings . . . and 6 tips for peaceful, cooperative sibling relationships
This tale is true. And recent. Although names have been changed to protect the (somewhat) innocent. We were boarding a plane, on our way back from Spring break. My two daughters were in front of me, moving down the aisle toward our row, and arguing about who would get the window seat. I was trying to stay out of it … Read More
Struggling to come up with “the right” consequences? Try this!
Click here for an audio version of this blog: Over the past several months, I have heard some questionable tips from parenting experts on the topic of “consequences.” What’s surprising to me is that these are parenting experts I respect and agree with most of the time. But not this time. Here’s an example of one tip that raised my eyebrows: “The … Read More
Parenting can be oh, so uncomfortable
Click below for the audio version of this message. No one ever told me how hard parenting would be. Everyone seemed to play up the joy and love (which for sure is true) but they failed to warn me about the shock, fear, disappointment and downright despair I’d soon feel. They also failed to warn me about how painful it … Read More
Making Mornings More Manageable
Most parents have experienced the “morning from hell” more often than they care to admit. I don’t even have to describe it — I’m that certain you know what I’m talking about. When I say good-bye to my kids after that kind of morning, I’m left with that terrible, icky, dark cloud lurking over my head for the next several … Read More
In parenting, I do better when I feel better. How about you?
When my 3rd baby was born, something happened to my 2nd-born. She transformed from a sweet, cheerful, optimistic and easy-going child into a needy, super-sensitive, irritating being. She was bugging the crap out of me. I didn’t like the way I was feeling, and I definitely did not like the parent I was being. So I enrolled in my first parenting … Read More
Going back-to-school in chunks
About a week ago, I found myself feeling unsettled and anxious about the coming of a new school year. My son will start high school this month which presents all sorts of new emotional and logistical issues, I lost my carpool partner for my two younger daughters, and I had a lot of questions about what the extracurricular schedule would look like. … Read More
5 Tips for Work / Life Balance (whether you work for pay or not)
“Balance” means something different to everyone. But we all know how it feels. And have you noticed that when you feel it, parenting (and everything) is so much easier? To me, “balance” does not mean having equal amounts of things. Rather, it means having as much of something as you need, in order to feel a sense of peace, fulfillment, and general … Read More
My kid uses my own parenting tool on me . . . and it works!
“I need a hug” is an actual parenting tool from “Positive Discipline.” You can use this tool almost any time, in any situation, and it often works wonders. Imagine that your child is having a tantrum. You say, “I need a hug!” Your child can’t hear you at first because he is tantrumming (or arguing, or negotiating, or … Read More